He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
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