I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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