so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
