I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
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