There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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