Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
Little spoons don't ask big questions
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
How external is "for external use only"?
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize
