Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Randomize
