I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
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