So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
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