Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
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