she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
