ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Randomize