I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
