So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
