Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Randomize
