I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
It's shark week go big or go home
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize
