she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Randomize
