Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
