I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Randomize
