Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
