I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Randomize
