Just mADE A PArabola og urine
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
