Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
i may or may not be watching the land before time
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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