there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I just forgot I was standing up.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I just sucked dick on a ferry
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
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