you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
