There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
