When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
We are two peas in an std pod
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
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