did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
