..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
