I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Randomize
