Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
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