I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
Randomize