my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
