Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
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