I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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