Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
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