My room smells like vodka and shame
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
We are all done wearing pants today
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Randomize
