Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
He better not be in your backpack
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
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