I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
