I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
