I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Ladies don't puke and tell
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
