Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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