It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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