I got chris browned last night
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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