I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
