i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
