i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
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