what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
