Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
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