I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
