I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
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