so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
