Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
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its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
We had to coat check the pizza.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
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I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
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