I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
