Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
