k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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