I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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