and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize