he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
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