so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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