I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
