sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize