lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
